We Aint Got No Money
by Angelwingkitsune
Summary: It's been a while since Devil May Cry has had any business. Nero comes up with a plan to earn a little money. Two words: Car Wash. Slight DantexNero. Open for suggestions.
1. Chapter 1

**We Ain't Got No Money**

Summary: It's been a while since Devil May Cry has had any business. Nero comes up with a plan to earn a little money. Two words: Car Wash.

AN: This will be my first fan fiction in a looong while, and personally I'm more of an art person, but I had this idea so I thought someone might enjoy it. Also I'm not too familiar with Trish and Lady, but I'll try not to butcher them too bad.

A long sigh resonated throughout Devil May Cry. It had been way too long without business, way too long for a certain Demon Hunter. Not to mention that the lack of business was taking a toll on their resources. A few stale pieces of pizza, and tap water… that is if it hadn't been turned it off yet.

"I'm hungry…" said Dante from behind his magazine.

Nero turned his eyes to him glaring slightly. Another page was turned rustling with the breath of another sigh.

"We ain't got no money, Pops." He folded his arms behind his head to add a little cushion.

"I know, I know already. Seems like we haven't got a call in months."

"…It hasn't been that long." he breathed with a hint of annoyance.

It was another long boring day, and without money to spend they had nothing to do, let alone eat. Nero had strung himself over the couch and was currently biting-no, _eating_- his cuticles. He had already made short work of his left hand, the quick's pricking with blood.

He doubted he could bite off his Devil Bringers nails also, but he was certainly trying. _That could be a little less effective… _

Another sigh began and -

"If you sigh another time, old man, I going to kick you in the nuts." He sat up to look over the couch to see if Dante was even paying attention, "And where are Lady and Trish, weren't they supposed to be back already? "

Dante waved his hand. " I dunno, but I doubt Lady and Trish are gonna be happy when they get back. Besides, it looks like we need too come up with another way too make some cash. At least for a while."

"I'm sure that'll be easy, seeing your brain capacity."

Dante gritted his teeth but gave no satisfaction to the boy. Nero waited for his response, but went he got none, laid back down. Noticing a oddly misplaced cowboy hat, he picked it up and crooked it to cover his face.

"Wow. This thing stinks." came the muffled voice from under the hat.

Dante was about to let another overly audible sigh when the doors crashed open and in stormed an angry pair.

Sloshing a bit.

"What the hell Dante?" yelled a mud covered Lady.

Nero's interest was perked and he lifted the hat to only shadow his eyes. Dante finally decided to look up and started to laugh maliciously.

Trish herself was also covered in mud and was wiping the grimy substance off her skin.

"Uhhgg…" A pile of wet mud was slung to the ground. The laughter continued to echo through three other pairs of ears. The teenage boy thought that the sight of the two women covered in filth was mildly amusing, but the laughter from the maniac was causing him to giggle to himself.

"I never in a MILLION years thought you'd fall for that." He had to have a _little _fun didn't he?

He earned growls from the women as they tracked their mess upstairs to clean off, mud squishing and leaving behind a trail.

Nero continued to giggle as he asked. " So what did you do this time old man?"

"Oh, just rigged a couple of decoys. Use your imagination."

So he did. He inwardly cringed at the thoughts that followed.

After the excitement settled down, it was back to the sulking, sighing and complaining.

The young boy's eyes stared at the caked mud that would stay until it wore away via lack of cleaning. Suddenly he perked up, a light cracking on inside.

"Hey…why don't we have… a car wash?" He looked at three faces anticipating their reactions.

Trish and Lady exchanged glances. Dante looked up and crooked an eyebrow.

"Kid," he paused, "that is the dumbest idea I have ever heard."

Nero furrowed his brow, a light blush gracing his cheeks. His eyes focused themselves on anything but the mocking expression of the older man. Maybe it wasn't the greatest idea ever, but it was an idea, and he felt insulted. A little.

He turned around hard and sank back into the couch.

"You asshole." _I don't see __**you**__ coming up with any ideas_.

"Hey. that's not that bad an idea, it would be easy and it would bring in a little cash. Besides we don't have any other ideas." The girls agreed.

"Say we do have this "car wash," he quoted with two fingers, " who is going to wash the cars? "A little punk, two old women," he paused, " and only one devilishly good-looking demon slayer? We're a bit short on employees."

Trish gave a playful/forceful shove to his side. He pouted in mock pain and turned back to Nero, hidden by the couch.

"Why don't you call Kyrieee to come over?"

He loved to annoy the kid, and he also felt he had the right to, staying and his place and all.

Nero blushed darker and felt his blood pump with anger at her name. He sank lower and pushed the hat down to hide the blood running to his face. He was heating up with frustration replaying her name in his head, the way Dante purred when he said it.

His vision was blocked by the (sweat?) washed hat -unfortunately not his sense of smell- so he couldn't see Dante sneaking up on him, carrying a bucket of water. Dante began to tilt the bucket filled with ice cold water when he noticed something.

"Uh…Kid, where did you get that hat?" He frowned in disgust.

Beneath the hat, Nero's eyes widened, and mirrored the expression of his counterpart as he threw the hat with unnecessary force to the other side of the room. He froze. Eyes locking with Dante's.

He shut his eyes, "Do I even want to know?"

He heard a chorus of No's coming from different directions.

Well that would explain the smell…

He wiped off his face franticaly using the inside of his shirt to wipe away anything lingering on his face. He looked bad at Dante blushing again, and only managed to shut his eyes just in time to block out the wall off water.

"Uhh!" It was way colder than he expected, even to the point of discomfort, despite the heat of summer.

"You probably needed some water to get _that_ off anyway."

He growled and tackled Dante, grabbing him by the collar and pinning him to the ground with a loud thud. The force causing the couch to come crashing behind with an equally satisfying thud.

He pinned his arms to either side of his head and for lack of thought, just growled some more. Dante didn't seem to mind, however, and tilted his head with a coy smirk.

"So," he said eyes half lidded, " car wash anyone?"


	2. Chapter 2

This might be the end. I dunno let me know if I should continue. Is my writing ok?

**Ch 2**

The ash haired boy waited outside anxiously. It wasn't so unlike his older counterpart to be last to jump in line for anything that required work, or effort for that matter, but it was nevertheless irritating. Nero sometimes found that trait weirdly endearing; he couldn't help but grin a little. Typical Dante.

The moody teen taped his foot impatiently (maybe not that endearing). Patience certainly wasn't _his_ virtue.

"Dante!" He yelled craning his neck, "Get your wrinkly old ass out here!"

Nero glared hard at the door. _If he doesn't walk out here in the next two seconds…_

Apparently sensing his partner's annoyance Dante emerged right on time. But not without a retort.

"Geez, kid. Calm down, You seem extremely moody today." He walked right on past him without locking eyes. He waited until his back was facing Nero. Although he could feel the boy's eyes stabbing him in the back.

"Is it someone's time of the month?" He only turned to get a glance of Nero's reaction. Which was lightly shaded and graced with a angry pout. _Cute. _

"By the way," he gestured ostentatiously "Seems like team Estrogen split."

The boy's anger faded replaced with intrigue. "What do you mean. I thought Lady and Trish were the only ones who actually liked my idea."

Thinking back on the idea…it was a little unlike Nero. But unlike Dante, Nero wasn't afraid to actually do some cleaning. Dante could kill some of the grimiest, terrifying, and revolting demons out there. He did not fear them. He was terrified of cleaning. He'd destroyed his shop for than once.

"We got a call."

Nero's face fell. He smacked his demon hand to his forehead. It's bright glowing gave his embarrassment away. It was Dante's way of knowing what Nero's true emotions were, despite his standoffish exterior.

"Ow."

A heavy hand landed on Nero's shoulder, pushing out a breath. Dante's hand lingered there as he spoke, rubbing his thumb between his shoulder blades.

"It's OK kid. I stayed behind for a reason, didn't I?" Nero looked up at his soft smile and couldn't help but return the gesture.

"Well, alright then." He perked up, "What are we waiting for?"

Nero trotted off to retrieve some cleaning supplies while Dante when to the back to drag out the water hose. He doubted it even worked, it had been here when he bought the place.

He cranked the faucet and it wheezed as the water flowed into the tube.

"Hmm."

He inspected the hose to make sure it didn't have any cracks or holes. It didn't. It even had a nozzle for custom water flow. It read _Mist, Jet, Shower, Angled. _He tried out the jet setting; it had a surprisingly powerful stream. Dante smiled devilishly.

Nero picked up a bottle of dish detergent, a bucket of water, and a few sponges. He figured that it would be enough, considering that there were only two people going to be cleaning. He walked out side and set the items down on the sidewalk, only to notice Dante gone again.

He let out an agitated sigh and leaned his weight on a nearby light post, shifting to relax a bit.

Dante spotted his prey, and carefully approached as to not give away himself. His weapon clutched tightly in his left hand, finger ready on the trigger. He took a few more soft steps and stopped only a foot away from his young partner.

_Ksssshh!_

The jet stream hit The boy right in the middle of the back, instantly soaking his denim overcoat. Nero jerked around startled by the bullet of water to see Dante whistling while lazily hiding the hose behind his back, water still dripping from the nozzle.

"You're dead." Nero smirked as he whipped off his soggy coat and used it to shield Dante's face as he stole the water hose. Nero flipped out of the elder man's charge and squirted him at point blank range…in the face.

Dante squinted and gurgled as he tried to steal back the hose. Nero laughed happily as be bested the man. That is until Dante kicked knocked his feet out from under him, grabbing the hose as Nero fell. Nero landed on his back and rushed to get back up before Dante could assault him with the spray, but was held in place by Dante's boot on his arm. Dante held the nozzle like a gun, and he was ready to fire. He had to admit he enjoyed their cat and mouse games.

"Any last words?" He smirked

"Yeah…think fast!" Nero grabbed his bucket of water and threw the contents at Dante's stupid smirking face. This was more effective than the tiny stream from the hose. Nero had succeeded in completely drenching Dante's upper half.

"Hah. Take that old man."


End file.
